the first cancelled woman
shere hite's discoveries on female sexuality in the 70s prompted backlash from people threatened by her findings.
out of the 200,000 years of recorded human history, how wild is it that we are living in the 0.02% of it where it is known that if you have a vagina, you likely need clitoral stimulation to come?
chances are you don’t know the woman who brought this seemingly common knowledge to light, yet you couldn’t go a day in the 80s without hearing her name. shere hite was the subject of newspaper articles, the laughing stock of talk shows, the victim of stalking and cruel voicemails and doxxing. all for discovering a piece of information that severely disrupted the natural order of things: women were able to achieve sexual satisfaction on their own.
(*for this essay, “men and women” will refer to cisgender men and women. shere hite’s work in the 70s, while ahead of its own time, did not fully dive into transgender sexuality.)
shere hite (pronounced cher height) attended columbia university as a grad student in 1968, the only woman in its coveted history program. coming of age during the dawn of second wave feminism, the sexual revolution, and civil rights tensions, she took up history as a way to understand her present. almost immediately she faced class and gender discrimination. her bachelor’s thesis from the university of florida was accused of being plagiarized - how could someone from florida write something this well? especially a woman? shere wanted to write her graduate dissertation on female sexuality but was dismissed from doing so. she eventually left columbia.
at the time shere had no money. her nyc basement apartment had no heat. on top of that, every time she’d arrive home and switch on the light, roaches would scatter. tired of being in survival mode, shere knew she had to get a job, but still remain focused on her independent research on female sexuality. she began to model.
“of all forms of prostitution - as any job within the system is - i preferred modeling. it allowed the most independence with the least personal involvement.”
shere made money modeling, but she couldn’t shake the cognitive dissonance of making money from an industry that reinforced women’s stereotypes in society. that reached a peak when she was asked to model for olivetti typewriters in 1972. the typewriters - marketed to women secretaries - advertised slender, beautiful women in clothing that would be described today as office sirens, boosting their product as “a typewriter so smart, she doesn’t have to be.” at the casting call, she met women protesting this harmful ad copy and immediately befriended them.
these protestors were made up of people on the fringes of society: sex workers, queer artists whose work was consistently dismissed, feminist grad students - like shere - who were not taken seriously. in these meetings, shere found refuge amongst like-minded people.
a common topic of debate among this group was master and johnson’s findings on sexuality. in 1966, the researchers, masters and johnson, declared women needed clitoral stimulation to orgasm, but later said that this stimulation can happen indirectly during intercourse - it doesn’t need its own separate foreplay. shere knew this was incorrect, but there was a small problem - no one would dare back her up.
publicly, that is. shere decided she would circumvent people’s sexual shame with anonymous questionnaires. in 1972, she handwrote questionnaires intended for women to respond back anonymously.
the questions? please describe what an orgasm feels like for you. is having an orgasm important to you? do you use the same manner of reaching orgasm during masturbation and intercourse?
shere learned how to use a printing press. she would pack the surveys in a cardboard box, strap them onto her friend’s motorcycle and ride around new york city distributing them. shere didn’t restrict her drop offs to uptown and downtown new york: she went to the often ignored bronx, queens, chinatown, and inner brooklyn - eventually distributing questionnaires via post all over the country.
this culminated in anonymous responses from 3,000 women, ranging from ages 20-75, and from all backgrounds, married or single.
the findings all boiled down to one thing:
the majority of women did not orgasm through intercourse alone. and that women were capable of pleasure, and doing so themselves, despite consistent messaging of “women were incapable of orgasm” and “the female body is a mystery.”
she published her findings in a book called the hite report, released in 1976.
the book, as you could expect, caused a massive stir.
shere constantly found herself defending her work. her book was debated on all-male panels who scoffed at her findings. “human beings have been having sex for all of history and there’s been no issue,” they’d say.
the majority of men interpreted her findings - specifically about women being able to achieve orgasm on their own - as an assertion that women don’t need men.
they accused shere of being a man hater. “so want men to be obsolete?”
“that would be terrible,” she’d say. she’d written this book to improve sex lives, not destroy them.
the hite report became a new york times bestseller. publishers couldn’t churn out copies fast enough. despite that, shere became inspired by her criticism and wanted to include men in the coversation. and so she did.
“the hite report on male sexuality” was published in 1981. shere interviewed 7,000 anonymous men who shared thoughts her editor called “the saddest part of my entire career.”
the men of the late 70s and early 80s were under tremendous pressure. under pressure to perform in bed, under pressure to be a man and not show emotion, under pressure to work and provide. the way the hite report’s chief finding was that women can achieve pleasure independently, the chief finding of the male sexuality book was this:
men are profoundly alone.
“we have no one to talk to, we can’t share things with people. i have no warmth in my life, only warmth i feel is when i’m done at the office, and i have some free time just to myself.” - anonymous man, 1981.
shere hoped this book would allow men to see what other men are feeling and connect with each other on their shared experiences.
instead, it had the complete reverse effect.
in a particularly harrowing interview, shere hite gets invited to debate 5 men. they say they’ve read the book, but do not see themselves in it. in fact, they don’t know any man who can relate to the findings of the book. they further berate her for making men look pathetic and double down on calling her a man basher.
shere remains composed in interviews but one could tell that the constant critique and interruption from people who never read her book was taking a toll.
one interview went as such:
“how do you think women’s lib is affecting male sexual response”
“i’d say it’s only helping them.”
“you make it sound like it’s all men’s fault. it’s a matter of communication. too often when i ask a woman what she wants, she pouts and doesn’t give me an answer. it’s women who need to learn communication.”
“well my first book was telling you what women want and men acted as if they’ve been shot.”
*****
against the backdrop of reagan, growing conservatism in the US, and the rising sentiment of “protecting the children from the sex-obsessed liberal agenda,” shere hite lost steam. her book on male sexuality elicited more controversy than success.
especially a statistic she found that 72% of married men have an extramarital affair after two years. not wanting to believe this, people began doubting her methods of data collection.
the news channel, abc, conducted their own shere hite questionnaire. they randomly called people and asked them the same questions shere did. particularly, “have you ever had an extramarital affair?” the results were, overwhelmingly, no.
“if i’m a wife at home, and my husband is next to me in the kitchen, and i pick up a phone call where someone’s asking me if i’ve had an affair… of course I would say no!” - shere hite, upon being confronted about abc’s findings.
people didn’t believe her. she became the subject of scorn and hatred. her earlier modeling for playboy was uncovered, which further ruined her case. how can anyone believe scientific data from a nude bimbo?
yet shere was committed to the research. her third book, “women and love” shared how women felt about their love lives.
a staggering finding was that 70% of married women had affairs within five years of marriage. and only 13% of women were in love with their husbands after two years of marriage.
this was the limit for people. a cheating husband is normal knowledge, but a cheating wife? unthinkable.
“in my last book i reported 72% of married men have extramarital affairs… who do you think they’re sleeping with?!”
- shere hite, 1987, upon the uproar she received by saying women cheat on their husbands.
shere consistently reported being stalked. her home address was leaked on live television. her voicemail flooded with angry people. her letterbox inundated.
yet despite the pressures, she continued interviews. for one particular interview she was meant to drive to connecticut. a limo driver assigned to pick her up waited for for her to arrive. when she wouldn’t come out, he went to her front door to get her, he said, “i’m sorry, dear, but we have to go.”
shere, already at her wits end, exploded at the mention of dear. according to some reports, she attacked the limo driver, hit him, pulled his collar.
news channels caught wind of this story and began asking shere to interview under false pretenses. they’d say they want to talk about her book, but then asked about the limo driver incident. while the true story remains unclear, she was portrayed as a violent, unhinged man basher. this effectively ended whatever remaining shred of her reputation.
exhausted of the never-ending backlash, shere hite renounced her us citizenship in 1995 and moved to europe where her books had been better received. she never returned to the us.
it’s not all sad news. shere developed a friendship with a young french photographer who captured her in a way she felt control of her image. she released another book. shere lived out the rest of her days away from the public eye, until she passed away in 2020.
***
shere hite’s books sold 50 million copies worldwide, were translated into 14 languages, and were banned in 8 countries. her findings challenged traditional definitions of female sexuality and the hite report remains the 30th bestselling book of all time. if you can ask for what you want in bed, you probably have shere to thank.
yet for young feminists today, shere remains unknown, faded into obscurity by people threatened by her messages at the time. the backlash, death threats, and pulling of funding caused her to retreat into privacy with no desire to ever return to the limelight. who could blame her?
***
a woman ahead of her time will always be treated with disgust, scorn and hyper scrutiny. today, shere’s findings are so known to the point of being overdone (ie. the constantly-told joke of men not being able to find the clit). that’s the double edged sword of progress, those of us that benefit it take for granted how much was sacrificed for us to get it.
in times i fear my own public cancellation, i channel the bravery of shere hite. she remained firm in her cause throughout it all: to help women take control of their bodies. because to her, a woman taking control of her own body was the definition of freedom.
to you, my reader, if you ever feel that the world’s thoughts of you are too much to bear, remember this: you are the result of a long line of women who have faced wrath for their opinions. you may have people against you, but you have an even bigger community standing with you.
welcome to the club.
This was such a powerful read today, thank you for sharing. Always love hearing about sex educators from our past so we can make more in the future <3
This was a phenomenal read. Thank you